I Want to Disappear!

Yep, with just a snap I want to  escape and hide from the harsh reality of this world.  I want to disappear and vanish for crying out loud.  I’ve been feeling so down and helpless this very specific day.  Reality struck on me that life is indeed difficult.  I do not know if I’ve been hit by midlife crisis.  I just do not know what my ideals, goals and wants are.  All I know is I want to relax my brain from thinking what would be in store for me in the future.  How am I gonna survive from this shitty feeling that I am in.  *sobs

Geez, this f**k*n* BS life! Oppsss, sorry if I swear on that part.  I just can’t helped it! It is so difficult when more often than not you shoulder a big responsibility especially in the family’s role.   I do not want to complain and be selfish but life is so darn unfair on why it treated me this way.  Do I deserve all this shit? I’ve been a good sister, daughter and a friend and experiencing all this f**k tortures me big time! I totally and freakin’ hate it! Argh, my head hurts.

That is why I want to disappear right as this very moment as in NOW! I want to go where only beautiful scenery and tranquil atmosphere surround the place to give my tired soul and heart the solace to rest and a time to comfort myself from this cruel world.  I want to experience how it feels like to fly like a bird where all you think is being freewheeling, no problems to worry and no pain to feel.  I want to break free even just for a day.

I despise myself when I feel this way because I will feel so low, depress and frustrated.  Oh, Lord God help me! Enlighten my gloomy soul and mind to see the light on the road to the right pathway!


One thought on “I Want to Disappear!

  1. Hope you got on top of this shitty feeling. I’ve been a bit overloaded myself lately so I sympathize with you. Take care, and happy new year of course. R.

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