Yep, with just a snap I want to escape and hide from the harsh reality of this world. I want to disappear and vanish for crying out loud. I’ve been feeling so down and helpless this very specific day. Reality struck on me that life is indeed difficult. I do not know if I’ve been hit by midlife crisis. I just do not know what my ideals, goals and wants are. All I know is I want to relax my brain from thinking what would be in store for me in the future. How am I gonna survive from this shitty feeling that I am in. *sobs
Geez, this f**k*n* BS life! Oppsss, sorry if I swear on that part. I just can’t helped it! It is so difficult when more often than not you shoulder a big responsibility especially in the family’s role. I do not want to complain and be selfish but life is so darn unfair on why it treated me this way. Do I deserve all this shit? I’ve been a good sister, daughter and a friend and experiencing all this f**k tortures me big time! I totally and freakin’ hate it! Argh, my head hurts.
That is why I want to disappear right as this very moment as in NOW! I want to go where only beautiful scenery and tranquil atmosphere surround the place to give my tired soul and heart the solace to rest and a time to comfort myself from this cruel world. I want to experience how it feels like to fly like a bird where all you think is being freewheeling, no problems to worry and no pain to feel. I want to break free even just for a day.
I despise myself when I feel this way because I will feel so low, depress and frustrated. Oh, Lord God help me! Enlighten my gloomy soul and mind to see the light on the road to the right pathway!