In the four corners of my room, I lie awake and stare at the white ceiling waiting for Handsome Nurse to go online and hoping we can chat. But to my dismay, it has been three days or so that he did not show up. I wonder what happen to him and what on Earth he have been doing. It bothers me much that he did not communicate with me and the last message that I received was just a simple word calling me but too bad I was not able to catch him online.
Worries and pain enveloped my whole being as I do not know where this relationship is going and will still there be a chance that this will work out. Yeah, I am ranting about our long distance relationship. It is so hard to be in this kind of dilemma as I do not have the assurance if he is only mine because for real I am only for him.
My mind and heart are of the same rhythm that I should hold on but a part of me is telling me that I should let go and move forward from where he left me. Argh~ I just hate it when I am on the state of being deranged and confusion because I cannot step one foot forward. Guess, I just love my Handsome Nurse so much that I am willing to sacrifice and take a risk whether this relationship will work or not.
It may hurt big time and takes time to heal my wounded heart but this is what I am into so I have to accept and face whatever the consequences it may bring. Hopefully before I go insane and paranoid he will show up 😦