Getting fed up

I am almost fed up with my situation being the bread winner of  the family.   It is so hard to be the eldest and you shoulder all the responsibilities that parents should do.  I know that it is a part of our culture to help our family right after you finish schooling, it may not be a compulsory but it becomes one since we have this debt-of-gratitude-attitude that children must help or else you will be mock by society.  I do not want to complain or whine about it because no one else would help my mother and siblings except me since they are still schooling.  However, I reached to a point sometimes that I have enough and I should mind my own life too!

It is not easy being the sole provider of your family’s needs because usually you need to save and budget your money for  expenses, bills to other needs instead of spending it for your own wants and leisures.  You end up thinking that I need not to spend and separate this hard earned moolah for future use of my family.  It has always been my family that  I think the most wherein I forgot that I have my own life too.   I do not want to sound selfish but as what I had said I am kinda fed up that it is always me providing all.  I am longing for the time that one day I will be able to spread my own wings and have the freedom that I wanted.  I want  to mind my own self and nothing else.  I want to break free and be selfish once in a while.  Selfish and rude as it may sound but I deserve it right? hehe

Guess, this is stress that turns me into a wicked yet beautiful monster.  LOL Oh God, I am asking for your guidance to enlighten my mind and have the strength to be much stronger to face all these challenges and trials coming my way.  Forgive me Lord for thinking this way 😦 Positivity please come to me!

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2 thoughts on “Getting fed up

  1. I was in your situation before and remebered the pain and strenuous experience of being a bread winner of the family. But rather than to rant and argue, I and my sister planned, acted and defined our objectives in life and help each other together with our Mom to fullfill and obtain our objectives. Our early goals were to earn a bachelor degree and find a good job. Now, I can say that at least our lives improve.

    You can also fullfill your dreams if you stay focus, believe that failure is not an option and each members of the family work together as a team & contribute to the realization of the said dreams.

    Don’t worry everything will be ok in God’s time. Cheers…..

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