Lies

I just do not know why but most of the times my instinct is accurate, I always find out the truth when this special someone will tell me about something that he is involve with.  For example, he said that he is going somewhere with his family and then I accidentally found out that he is out there with someone not his family member.  Is this the way that God wants me to uncover the lies he is trying to conceal?  As a person, I always give the benefit of the doubt, I do not easily jump into conclusions in order to not take sides. However, having this kind of personality is also difficult because it makes me gullible in some ways.

My friends advised me to confront him over this but I just kept mum and let it passed by as if nothing happens.  I do not know what is wrong with me on why am I acting like this. Tsk. Am I being too numb or just plainly stupid?

I tried not to think too much about it but the truth always finds its way to me.  Is this the wake up call that I have been praying? Is this the sign that I have been looking for? For the past months, I have been praying to God to always guide me to see the truth and light with the current relationship that I am in. Even though the situation we are in right now is very smooth sailing and happy, I still have doubts with my relationship with my partner especially there was a history of betrayals and lies.  Yet, I still manage to hope that everything’s going to be alright and this is just a test of faith and trust.  But no, I think I am wrong.  I guess, it is time to wake up from this nightmare? Ughhh, I need a psychiatric help or else I will go crazy. 

 

 

What calamities taught me?

I could not contain the mixed emotions that I am feeling right now.  I could not even know how to start this entry.  All I know is I have to find an outlet to ease my depression, sadness and gratefulness. Yes you read it right, I am both sad and happy.  These past several weeks, our city, Cebu, has been hit with dreadful calamities- the 7.2 magnitude earthquake and now the super storm Haiyan or Yolanda.  Aftermaths of these catastrophes were very severe.  Every time, you watch the news you cannot help but ache to all the victims.  Your heart bleeds for the pain that you witnessed of those who are suffering.

I could not help but utter the words, Praise God for my families and relatives are safe, however, also felt bad because others were doomed.  Call it pure luck, I am thankful that Cebu, apart from the northern side, which has been destroyed by typhoon Yolanda, has been blessed that we do not suffer that much.  There were damages but only minor ones compared to what had happened in Tacloban, Coron, Leyte, Ormoc and Samar to name a few.

I come to realize that, living life to the fullest and letting go of all the negativities are among the keys that one should practice because we will never know when will life ends.  The latest storm in the Visayas region taught me to be always thankful for all the good and bad things that I have encountered and experienced.  It taught me more to value the borrowed life that was given to me.  It made me a whole new individual. Sometimes, I tend to resent the most and occasionally rant about the things that depresses or stresses me. It seldom occurred to me that there are far more less fortunate people than I am.  There are more people in this world who are suffering big time with whatever difficulties they are in. But now, I came to appreciate more/much every single little thing that I have and will have unlike before.

The dreadful situation that some of my fellowmen encountered right now opened my mind, eyes and soul to be more mature.  It brought me into a new chapter of life that I should feed my thoughts with much positivity, loads of wisdom and heaps of faith to God. Lastly, even though we were spared from the calamity and were very thankful about it, my heart is still crying inside for the people who bore the effects of earthquake and super typhoon. I fervently pray that every victim must not give up, continue to hang on and hope that there is always a better tomorrow after this nightmare.  May the Almighty Father touch their souls and warm their hearts to continue surviving for life.  May He always shed light to every one of us to always trust Him and never surrender the faith as what He did to me.

Before I end this post, I encourage everyone who happened to drop by in this blog to include a prayer to all the victims of typhoon Yolanda and the 7.2 magnitude earthquake.

Bangon Visayas!

I wanna be free!

Free from responsibilities..

Free from pains…

Free from obligations…

Free from heartaches…

Free from working almost 24/7 to live…

*Sigh*

I just wanted to be free once in a while.  As free as a bird.  I am so drained from all the obligations that I am in.  I completely need a breather or else I am going to give up, although not on life because I wanted to see my future kids. LOL

Freedom, where are thou?